the office of legerdemain - 19 mar 2003


more market commentary from phatbubble, originally appearing on

to: the office of legerdemain
from: phatbubble
subject: your day in the sun

to whom it may concern: you are a fakeassed sack of shit. while i'm not blown out or even particularly dispirited, i am growing grievously sick of your constant presence. this market has been jammed, propped, and porked so often for so long it looks like a mannequin of a cadaver trying to hump its own leg; fib numbers are irrelevant and astrology is nearly useless and doc's cycles only work when there's not a napalm bomb going off in the futures pit. you have infested everything. jocular t.v. pundits blather about the "kickoff" of the war and swoon when every other company "beats by a penny". ISPs pimp their customers' email addresses and then hawk spam protection. antispyware downloads install their own spyware. customer service phone systems loop vapid drivel about the importance of the call while the caller is being stalled to meet a target level of call attrition, and if they tough it out they get forwarded to a temp worker in bombay who answers the phone in a fake oklahoman accent. buddha is right, we live in a plutocracy, but it's worse than that, it's a complete and shameless fraud, and it's all your fault. if i ever find your sorry ass i'll rip your throat out and have you stuffed with junk mail, and you'll spend the rest of eternity behind museum plexiglass underneath a placard that reads FAKE.

sit facing the door,



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