ugly nuggets
the best of the worst reviews....in case anyone feared music criticism was a dead art
with follow-on comments from meb

"take the song gate....a lovely slab of rustic pop that starts out great but ends up in this horrible washed-out, pathos-drenched landscape...."
-stein haukland, ink19.com

actually, he appears to have gotten the point.

***

"bonner does cheese out in the bridges from time to time."
-jon worley, aiding & abetting

awesome. he prolly meant the choruses, though.

***

"the lyrics on this album are a little eccentric and the tracks themselves are very mediocre and less than average....tanner and turning of the stone would have to be the two best tracks on the album because they were cleverly written and their presentation is almost uncanny. tanner is just a brilliant track....turning of the stone is a more serious and slow track still in rap format [ed: turning of the stone is 28 bpm faster than tanner]. it's very meaningful and actually gives you something think about while giving you something to listen to at the same time. again the writing was superb and their play on words is extraordinary....this album is nothing that can't be fixed with a little time and effort. the songs seemed to be thought out too much while presentation doesn't seem to have been thought out at all....
in many ways i can relate to [sister] in having a sister of my own and sharing that common sisterly bond...."
-name & publication withheld, for her own good

words fail me. nothing i can't fix with a little time and effort, though.

we wont ask about the sisterly bond.

***

"this slick album is crisply produced, flawlessly performed, and quite professionally packaged. it is so slick, in fact, that i am left with only one conclusion: matt bonner must have a great day job - one that pays him well enough to finance this project.
signs is....perfectly put together, yet simultaneously completely devoid of soul or vision....the music here sounds like it was performed by expert studio musicians thumbing through the 'alternative' adult contemporary songbook: '80s-inspired (h)airy guitar solos, bass locked in tight with every pulse of the kick drum (and never anything else), synths, and - egad, man! - rapping! think '80s one-hit wonders mr. mister trying to make a relevant comeback for the 21st century (it's "kyrie eleison", with special guest MC Paul From Accounting!). in sum, congratulations are in order for matt bonner on all those guitar and singing lessons he took, because he really does know how to play and sing. however, congrats are even more in order for that fantastic day job matt's got. way to go, matt! don't quit it!"
-scott tennant, splendid ezine

scott, you are the hands-down winner, at least for now. i'll make sure you get an advance copy of next cd before anybody else.

and thanks on the guitar compliments, i appreciate it - but that was joe and cal playing. so while you're skulking around out there in search of the mythical cutting edge, featherweighting your way through your reviews, take a couple minutes to read the fucking liner notes. i'm sure the MC Pauls of the world would hate to imagine their publicists taking that hard-earned accounting pay and pissing it up the wall.

love, cheddar bob

***

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All contents ©2007 Matt Bonner, Red Ember Publishing, Deckboard Music, and/or Stone Circle Records, except where noted.