tanner - signs of passing, released february 2003

yes could we speak to jack tanner please
yeah, speaking
yes this is mr bragg (turn up the speakerphone denise) from consolidated online music & entertainment
your acronym is come?
yeah we couldn't get the domain
but our test marketing was strong in the 14 to 29 demographic

you spelled it wrong
what do you mean?
never mind
well anyway we'd like to make you an offer we don't think you'll be able to refuse
what've i got to lose
okay we'll run through a few things you can tell us what you think
mr tanner?

yeah go ahead just fixin a drink
well like i was saying we'll acquire your publishing and require that you dub your singing over an album of computer generated songs
can't believe it took you so long to share a taste
well of course they're based on the latest polling data
hey that's the greatest motivator i could ever try to think up
oh great, we knew we'd get our vibe synched up - ok brenda
ok now just for a while we'll talk about things we need to make smiles with the fcc and the pmrc so of course we'll do research into your whole cv but right now we just want to confirm that we need to see examples set from our artists with respect to smoking, urine tests, red meat, and renting videos of explicit sex we're sure your position is what we expect, but how old are you? marketing forgot to check

since you asked i turned 115 last month and my position is fully erect i didn't do much coke until i was a teen and seems like you blokes got an image to protect so i prefer caps and tabs but if you got somethin else i'll try it and i don't rent porn, i buy it i'll eat more meat than your nancin ass has ever seen unless some asshole's started the barbie with gasoline but what i'm really really interested in is bombay sapphire, rollies, and ephedrine raw dog by the firepit as many times as you can run for a week with no sleep like the perfect machine
it's shocking, it's shameful
mr tanner are you through?

did i mention i like astrology too?
yeah what's your chart say?
it says stick it up your ass and fuck your marketing and fuck you too
mr tanner we're appalled, you're headed for a fall
you're lucky we even return your calls
what's that sound?
i think it's a dog
i think his dog is licking its balls

jack tanner is actually more agreeable than this tune might suggest, although he refused to have anything to do with being photographed for this space.

instead he absolutely insisted that we post two of his favorite web pickings:

copyright, erm, unknown.

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